US Navy F-4 pilot recalls the first body count he received after a FAC mission against North Vietnamese. He asked to never be notified of body counts again.

By Dario Leone
Oct 2 2024

The most challenging and traumatic part of a soldier’s job

Soldiers kill. It goes with the job, and they do it on our behalf.

But it’s an aspect of their work which is widely ignored – even by the soldiers themselves – and this can cause them great psychological difficulty, according to BBC.

This most challenging and traumatic part of a soldier’s job is often wholly overlooked.

How does it feel to kill someone during a war?

John Chesire, US Navy F-4 Phantom II pilot during the Vietnam War, recalls on Quora;

‘For me, not good. However, I never lost any sleep over it. Killing is what we did. It was war. And war is hell.

‘I flew 197 combat missions in both South and North Vietnam. Performing close air support for our US troops and South Vietnam troops, I obviously killed an untold number of the enemy. But I fortunately never knew how many or who they were.

‘Then one day while working with a Forward Air Controller (FAC) near the DMZ, we caught a large number of North Vietnamese Regular Army guys out in the open. I attacked dropping 6 MK-82 bombs. Although I was flying too high to exactly see the results, the FAC was ecstatic with my results, describing in somewhat gory detail what I had wrought.

The body count

F-14 pilot recalls doing a barrel roll over a Bear for the Soviet crew, F-4 pilot recalls a Tu-95 crew member holding up Playboy magazine in the window of his bomber
This print is available in multiple sizes from AircraftProfilePrints.com – CLICK HERE TO GET YOURS. F-4B Phantom II VF-84 Jolly Rogers, AG204 / 151491 / 1964

‘The next day I received message traffic confirming that I had 112 NVA “killed by air” (KBA). It was the first time I had ever received an actual body count, and I was briefly somewhat affected by that. I asked to never be notified of actual body counts again, although I obviously killed many over the ensuing months. But I never knew how many. It must have been a large number.

‘Once in a great while I do think about that mission and the many others, and wonder a bit. But it never really bothered me to any degree. It was my job and I did it well, just as those trying to kill me did theirs, too.’

Noteworthy this reminds the Intel officer in Flight of the Intruder informing Grafton on his body count and Grafton refusing to listen to it.

A claim confirmed by Chesire himself;

‘Not surprising. While I don’t remember that exact reference, the author – Stephen Coonts – and I were contemporaries, and shared many of the same circumstances and experiences.’

F-4 model
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Photo credit: U.S. Navy

Dario Leone

Dario Leone

Dario Leone is an aviation, defense and military writer. He is the Founder and Editor of “The Aviation Geek Club” one of the world’s most read military aviation blogs. His writing has appeared in The National Interest and other news media. He has reported from Europe and flown Super Puma and Cougar helicopters with the Swiss Air Force.

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