Home Losses and Aviation Safety “I don’t wanna make it just like 3 balls:” hear rendition of U.S. Navy’s pilots plan to draw sky penis

“I don’t wanna make it just like 3 balls:” hear rendition of U.S. Navy’s pilots plan to draw sky penis

by Dario Leone
"I don't wanna make it just like 3 balls:" hear rendition of U.S. Navy’s pilots plan to draw sky penis

“What did you do on your flight?” the pilot joked in response to the EWO’s suggestion. “Oh, we turned dinosaurs into sky penises.”

Geoff Ziezulewicz at Navy Times obtained a cockpit transcript of the pair of U.S. Naval Aviators behind the infamous penis “skydrawing” episode of 2017.

“Draw a giant penis. That would be awesome,” the electronic warfare officer (EWO) told the pilot after they had finished a training flight near Naval Air Station (NAS) Whidbey Island on Nov. 16, 2017, according to a report of the investigation into the incident obtained by Navy Times.

As reported by Task & Purpose, the investigation included the in-flight conversation from a video recording system in the aircraft, and it is absolutely hilarious.

“What did you do on your flight?” the pilot joked in response to the EWO’s suggestion. “Oh, we turned dinosaurs into sky penises.”

“You should totally try to draw a penis,” the EWO said again, stopping just short of hitting him with a “no balls” comment that always leads to smart decisions.

The pilot then said “that would be easy” to do, explaining to the EWO that he could draw a figure-eight pattern to make a giant majestic penis from the contrail of his EA-18G “Growler” aircraft that “airliners coming back on their way into Seattle” would be able to see.

“We could almost draw a vein in the middle of it too.”

Here’s Navy Times:

“Balls are going to be a little lopsided,” the pilot advised.

“Balls are complete,” he reported moments later. “I just gotta navigate a little bit over here for the shaft.”

“Which way is the shaft going?” the EWO asked.

“The shaft will go to the left,” the pilot answered.

“It’s gonna be a wide shaft,” the EWO noted.

“I don’t wanna make it just like 3 balls,” the pilot said.

"I don't wanna make it just like 3 balls:" hear rendition of U.S. Navy’s pilots plan to draw sky penis

“Let’s do it,” the EWO said. “Oh, the head of that penis is going to be thick.”

“Some like Chinese weather satellite right now that’s like, ‘what the (expletive)?'” the pilot surmised.

“To get out of this, I’m gonna go like down and to the right,” the pilot said. “And we’ll come back up over the top and try to take a look at it.”

“I have a feeling the balls will have dissipated by then,” his partner answered.

“It’s possible,” the pilot said.

They flew away to a distance where they could take in their work.

“Oh yes, that was (expletive)ing amazing,” the pilot said. “This is so obvious.”

“That’s a (expletive),” the EWO said. “Dude, I’m amazed that this stayed.”

“Soon after, I realized the extent of our actions,” the pilot wrote later.

We know the rest of this story.

As we have reported in fact the U.S Navy EA-18G crew has been given administrative punishment by Vice Adm. Mike Shoemaker during a Nov. 22, 2017 hearing before a Field Naval Aviator Evaluation Board.

Shoemaker, commander of Naval Air Forces, ruled that both the naval aviator and naval flight officer (NFO) from the “Zappers” of Electronic Attack Squadron 130 (VAQ-130) at NAS Whidbey Island, Washington,were “impulsive and immature” but both were “forthright and remorseful” when confronted.

“When they came down, the aviators were apologetic,” said Navy spokesman Cmdr. Ron Flanders. “The aviators admitted that they had done it after it occurred. When they appeared before the (Field Naval Aviator Evaluation Board) they were contrite. They realized that this was an embarrassment to Naval Aviation and the entire Navy. This sort of conduct is contrary to the core values of the Navy.”

As part of their punishment both men presented a series of “Change the Culture” briefs to fellow crews and students. They were given six months probation and could lose their wings for “any transgression on land or in the sky that showed a ‘similar lapse of judgment’ or violated the Navy’s core values.”

"You should totally try to draw a penis:" hear rendition of U.S. Navy’s pilots plan to draw sky penis
This print is available in multiple sizes from AircraftProfilePrints.com – CLICK HERE TO GET YOURS. EA-18G Growler VAQ-130 Zappers, AC500 / 168268 / 2016.

Photo credit: Screenshot from from YouTube and U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Karl Anderson

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Welcome to The Aviation Geek Club, your new stopover aviation place. Launched in 2016 by Dario Leone, an Italian lifelong - aviation geek, this blog is the right place where you can share your passion and meet other aviation enthusiasts from all over the world.

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